He has made His light shine upon us

(to me) and (for me) and the like
always there and always tentative
like we want to tell the truth
but never know how much to give.

interrupt?? no. your help, motivation
and reinterpretation of beth moore
prod me onward, yes, to closer communion
because of His heart, my face to the floor.

you understand Him, and look deep into me
and by allowing Him to be molding your will
i feel it’s the only way i’ve been able to be
hopeful beyond the muck and the mire.

(more than you can take?? because of the times i’ve crossed the line, because of ways i’ve treated you fine, but with motives ALLso selfish and synthetic sublime. i’m sorry. sorry for allowing myself to exploit your desire to be loved. you love to be needed. i love to fulfill. but look at me...you found me out, i want you to see more but it’s His to reveal.)

body dragging, mind slipping to sleep
but my heart pounds with words
which you hold, does it leap??

as my eyes droop and slowly reopen
more than ever they long to see you
more than that to see you in my future
the next chapter and again after that
every page, in each footnote, till
at last the book closes. and
there in the silence

God flips back to the front
and says to those younger,
“Once more, from the top,
I’ll show you their patience,
watch closely and learn.
Mistakes? yes but with trust
the love I’d planned out
was enabled by submission.
You too, you two,
trust in love,
submit to patience,
My ways are higher,
My thoughts are greater,
respect me. Creator.”

once again in the silence
as i hear you cry and watch you die (?for me?)
i wonder how i die for you.
how i lay down my life for you.
because Christ died for me. (for you. for us. for all.)
because He first loved us.
that’s how i can love, to God and then others.
greater love has no one…
?for me?
...but i’m confused
and that’s why it’s killing you to wait on me.
and that’s why He’s allowing you to wait on me.

my su??estion (to Him): provide a living example to walk by my side, You’re power, provision, perfection (oh inDEED!!) to remind me and for witness when i’m down in despair. because You are always there. (for her. and for me.) I AM never changes. but please provide precious proof of Lamentations 3:20-26. Hosanna.