i should and i don’t but here goes…
it was approx 3 HOURS this morning.
i heard him speak, i listened to them question,
i spoke of application and we prayed for fulfillment.
...and then. then and…
i felt her discouragement
the anxiety spilled over
and as i stooped, looking foolish trying to contain the runaway emotions,
i shook my head at all those words,
LORD Jesus my deeds!! Your TRUTH. You’re Truth.
what is Your truth Your example.
You knew the GC was the biggest task the disciples has (would ever) face
and we still are intimidated by it today.
so what did You say, how did You encourage, bear our burden??
“And surely, I am with You always, even to the end of the age.”
so i reassure her of that. never to leave or forsake. never changing, still the same yesterday today and forever. from everlasting to everlasting. from in the beginning to Amen.
(but may i add my two cents, my hollow solace in a world i can’t control, my fading flashlight in the noonday sun, my broken match as she stands by a bonfire―
“hlouise, i’m here. not always, and always imperfectly, but i’m here. i hesitate because of confusing conflicting priorities that i assign in your life but i desire to help to love. my greatest duty to intercede before the King, Jehovah Jireh. But finitely, i know God has me here. you are human built with needs, for a face and a smile, to laugh at/with, to look cheesy for pictures with, to cook cheesy potatoes for, and so i am here. and here we are.
so do you trust me
for a while now you’ve allowed me to carry your stuff
i’m ready for other baggage.
please. your lappy’s too heavy.”)
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
oh Almighty, only You know how much work You still have left to do in me. i am scared. but You are scarred. for me. remind me not to ignore that.
