careless or carefree

it’s been a while since last i poemized
since now i can speak words to your face
but now, it’s the eve of summer
and you’re away the weekend
i’m worried for you
attempting not to be for us
i see it. for sure. time and one more time.
we’re in the palm of His hands
>
as i got to know your brother
i felt like i could know you better.
as i watched you drive off, at 49 mph
i prayed and pondered “how long??”
>
what will it be this summer:
will i see the sweet smile??
will i sense the smooth skin??
then it must be your eyes, soft, and so deep

sort of. the surface seems so susceptible
my mind attacks and spins fairytales.
but the reality lies buried beneath
His truth and steadfastness remain
even in lack of your beauty (i know you are gorgeous)
yes, in lack of your wit (you know you are funny)
and in spite of my longing
yes, despite our impatience
i wonder rhetorically:
how could God NOT use something so EXTRAORDINARILY GRAND to do something more amazing yet??
who are we to dictate what, when or how exactly that will be??

<>

can i just mention
that i don’t understand
(concept out of grasp)
that you are gonna miss me.
even just saying it sounds
foreign to me.
like i’m making it up.
but you claim that it’s true.
i know it’s for me.

it’s almost as if your careless smile is singlehandedly reassuring me of your love.

your careless smile reminds me how carefree i can be.