my conclusion

[written: march 31, 2008
it's like i'm trying to fit in all these posts before i leave...]

i’ve got it figured
and here is how it goes:
the pain, the shame, the awkward, the questions.
the vain, the game, the wonder, the stallings.
every time i try to say it, something else comes up.
or every time i want to talk, the time has come to hang it up.
when i walk you to your door, or when you come up to my truck
my mind starts churning behind my talk.
“yes, no, maybe so, head out fast, take it slow.”
i’m at a loss and it’s because,
“When she leaves, I wish she were back, I want to say more.”
and also it seems to me,
“a goodbye that was meant
is one that was hatred.
for who says GOODbye
when you love that someone.
for who SAYS goodbye
when you love that someone.”
butbutbutbutbutbutbutbut>>>
love is what?? and love is kind.
love, joy, peace, what??, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.
(no help from Steve needed)
butthenagain>>>
you looked so lonely retracing through the mist and i felt so lousy racing through the rain.
childish, oh so childish, “just a touch, just a hand”
why oh LORD, can’t i be childlike??
did judas steal it all at once?? did eve give in to satan’s first argument??
my point is greed!! “just a…” leads to who knows where, but we all know just right where and shudder and thank the LORD for care.
so right. and back to my conclusion.
this is how it’s figured, or, at least in my head:
such an issue, this “goodbye,” these “farewells,” that “sleep tight…”
that i propose that we never, not once ever, say goodnight
but stay up talking (oh the line, where did you go??)
forever solve the problem of ending conversations by
never ending conversations.
never-ending convos sound like joy.