resolve me to You please

i can’t organize my thoughts.
comes out jumbled lines and dots.
everything i say is repetition,
all i do under suspicion.
??simplified:
stepping back - it’s me in pain
standing here - my pause, your bain
stepping up - God’s plan in vain

i just don’t know - am dying to.
i also know - you’re dying too.
to my love show - i’m dying to.
allowed to grow - brings one from two.

you say i fade, behind His face
no doubt a blessing of His grace
i wish the same for me were true
but blind to both, to Him to you.
to serve Him, must i sacrifice you??
to love you, i must be sacrificed too.

even in this greyhound of voices
You have the power to speak to me
i pray that You will show me how
to gently lead with truth then love
more than a man, Your child i must be
“just more than friends”?? how can i be
anything to her if You’re ALL that we need

tell me it’s foolish to think i
can serve You with less a distraction―
her by my side. i’d love to step
forward but how unloving that’d be―
taking Your time and saying, “all about me.”
“Deny yourself and follow Me!!”
but God don’t let me hurt her,
You know what i want, i want to fulfill.
to complete and to hold.
her hopes and deep dreams.
take hold of my will.
i can’t help but desire to show her why me.

how about You show me.
exactly what You want me to see.
ok. i’ll be watching You.