one year ago

[written september 2007]

I wish I could feed you a few of my thoughts.
I wish you could know a few things I think
without knowing I knew that you knew what you knew.
Then you would see that though I’m suppressing,
I love you, you’re gorgeous, all inside and out
I want to know fully all, both inside and out

but after the glimpse I snap back to normal
and then I’d off-handedly mention your hair
I’d stumble and stutter, most plainly embarrassed
then looking straight at you I’d sheepishly ask,
“Heidi...you wouldn’t...what I’m trying to say...”
bamm, without question you’re all up in my arms
and we’re hugging and laughing and wiping our eyes.

i can’t wait for the day i can speak what i feel
i will tell you you’re precious whenever i want
i long to just hold you the times you are down
i don’t want to waste all my chances to care